Talking to your market

Smokers have had to endure them for years.  Now its the turn of drinkers.  Health warnings.

I remember a story of male smokers specifically choosing the packs that said “Do not smoke if you are breastfeeding” coz they didnt think it could harm them.

So heres what you get as a stand up beer drinker.

 

And heres what you get as a “papsak” or “dooswyn” drinker.

Seriously? Because I happen to buy box wine I’m gonna stagger around Ysterplaat shouting obscenities at motorists. Actually thats exactly what I’m gonna do. Cheers!

Around the peninsula and back again

Outside of Cape Town it probably didnt make front page but to a few thousand idiots in spandex and some irriatated motorists there was the matter of a quick bike ride around the Cape Peninsula and back again on Sunday.  Although for some spectators, 25 798 of the riders were of little interest when soon to be Francois Pienaar doppelganger, Matt Damon, cruised past in all his budgie smuggling glory.

The 2 days leading up to the 2009 Pick and Pay Cape Argus Cycle Tour saw the mercury glide past 35 degrees celcius throwing all concerned into an Energade guzzling frenzy.  But as with Cape Town weather you can get up to go for a wizz in the height of summer and come back in the depths of an arctic blizzard.  It was with a stomach churning dread that I woke up at 2am on Sunday morning to find my curtains horizontal and a force 5 gale blowing outside.  Early morning news reels showed the Foreshore palm trees struggling to remain rooted.

My training had been undone the previous weekend by an inflamed Iliotibial band and so after a week of anti-inflamatories and icepacks I squeezed into my “lekker toit” jersey with the enthusiasm of a death row prisoner digetsing his last meal and started packing the energy bars, carbo drinks and glucose gel packs that would hopefully see me through 110km into 60km/h headwinds.

The 15km from Milnerton to the City Bowl didn’t see any improvement in conditions and when I had to swerve to avoid a Portaloo blowing into the road all hope of a gentle breeze at my back faded.  Some interesting stats for you.

• Of the 36,000 riders entered only 25, 799 finished.
• Wind reports had windspeeds of 40-60km/h at all points of the course with gusts of 140km/h at the top of Chapmans Peak.
• One woman didnt start when the breakfast tent at the start blew down on top of her breaking her collar bone.
• Of the 73 start groups only 2 made it 100m without a crash.
• The winning time of 2 hours 46 minutes was 19 minutes slower than the record of 2 hours 27 minutes.

Other unexpexcted benefits of the day was a free exfoliating body scrub  from the sandstorm buffeting  Simonstown and the idiot in Hout Bay with the hosepipe who thought we needed cooling down.  The combination of a wet jersey and stiff breeze only complicated the nipple issue I was having.

But in the end it turned out to be a thoroughly satisifying day’s outing.  In case there are any doubting Thomases among you I have evidence.  If you have trouble spotting me, I’m the one in the very 2009, ultra hardcore, flesh toned, orthopaedic knee supports.  Oh, and a red and white jersey.

Up the N2, doing a sound breaking 8km/h.

Up Suikerbossie, in the granniest of gears.

Top of Smitswinkel, far right.

Almost at the finish, far right.

The Finish, far right.

And thats that.  Onto the next thing.