No Cutsies

Been writing this burble for a few months now and besides the occasional comment of encouragement, my inbox has hardly been straining under the weight of response.  Suddenly I comment on the unmentionable, make my anti nicotine sentiments public and WHAM!  So from time to time I guess a little rant will be in order to test the waters of public opinion.

Here is today’s.

You are approaching an on/off ramp.  Its rush hour.  You proactively get into the queue of traffic waiting to enter or exit the freeway.  You patiently wait, doing your best to ignore the banal excrement we have for radio in South Africa ( a rant for another day) when some nematode flies up on the outside lane, turns on a flicker and proceeds to push into the queue of traffic.  Doesn’t this cretin realise the bottleneck they are causing.  If the line of cars didnt have to stop to let them in there probably wouldn’t be a line, well at least not one that keeps stopping and starting.  Jasckass!

An ex-colleague was so infuriated she wrote a sign for her window saying “No Cutsies”.  Needless to say if drivers are rude enough to push in they are hardly likely to heed any notice that sounds like it comes from an episode of Scrubs.  My approach is to keep as close to the car in front of me as possible and hope everyone else in the queue does the same.  This is accompanied with wild gesticulations and expletives, the most polite being “Back of the line asshole”.  It would give me so much joy to see them held out until after the intersection.   Unfortunately, theres always one mug who lets them in.

I’m guessing these “lane cutters” are the same motorists who fly up behind you in the fast lane when you are doing the speed limit and flash their lights trying to force their way past.  I have a way of dealing with them too.  Keep them waiting for as long as possible.  Hopefully the slow lane is busy so they can’t undertake.  Watch them getting more and more incensed in your rear view mirror.  About 100m before a speed camera let them past.  They generally take off at Mach 1 and get flashed.  Oh the joy it brings!