ABSA-lute daylight robbery

After spending 9 years bemoaning the antiquated banking system in the UK, like why does it take 5 days to clear a cheque and why cant I change my address over the phone I am writing to apologise to Barclays Bank Plc.  Because as bad as I thought they were at least they didnt fleece you for all you are worth for doing bugger all.   I swear in South Africa if you walk past an ATM and even think “oh I should probably draw money”, you will be charged.

 I seriously considered withdrawing every red cent I have and keeping it in a shoebox (although a small tupperware container would suffice) and keeping it under my bed except the withdrawal charges are exorbitant.  If you transfer money from one account to the other, if you make a payment with your debit card, if you check your balance, you will be charged and god help you if you use the wrong type of ATM because then the super charges kick in.  I exasperatedly asked for a list of charges only to be provided with a pamphlet of biblical proportions to peruse at my leisure.  Im up to page 53 and seriously concerned that in some sick way Im paying per page. 

Im told that the reason is that it costs a lot of money to move cash about due to the extreme security measures required and the insurance the banks have to pay on top of that.  Everytime the old man and I see a cash in transit vehicle outside our local centre we turn around and find a different entrance.  Just like the English army in the first Anglo Boer war with their red coats and criss-crossed white bandoliers, those trucks are a bloody target.  And theres always some jumpy looking guard with an automatic rifle and kevla body armour lurking nearby.  It makes me laugh thinking back to the UK banks cash delivery, it was always some overweight retired security guard from TESCO with a perspex helmet and visor and perhaps a baton if he was particularly hard.

Anyway, rant over.