Banana Banana

So you’re probably aware that our economy is being crippled by power cuts, something Eskom and our government knew about 10 years ago but failed to do anything about.  Hundreds of people were stranded on top of Table Mountain when the cable car stopped, nurses had to manually ventilate patients in critical care when their life support machines went down and the generator failed to kick in, traffic keeps coming to a standstill because the traffic lights aren’t working.  I was left groping for my towel in the gym with shampoo in my eyes in pitch black.  Although it was funny to see their staff running around with torches shining them in the eyes of bewildered patrons in the steam room.  But load shedding is not really what I want to talk about today.

 No my question is why the power failed to go out between 21h30 and 23h00 last night when it could have saved me from watching the drivel that is our national soccer team.  As I gazed on in horror at the litany of missed passes, the complete absence of man marking, and the plethora of scuffed shots from 40 yards I wondered why over the years, as our national cricket and rugby teams suffered at the hands of political interference and racial quotas, why the soccer team has not endured the same pressure.   Because if there was ever an organisation that needs to be taken by the scruff of the neck and told “listen mate you are a national embarassment”, its Bafana Bafana.

 When Italy won the world cup in 2006 only 2 players in their entire squad played football outside of Italy, meaning that at least some of their players knew each other and perhaps played together at the same clubs.  I was sure I saw some of our players shaking hands with each other after they had done so with the opposition and the officials before kick off. 

“Hi Im Teko, you are?, sorry what position do you play?”

Because the lack of understanding and communication was staggering.  I realise that national teams have less and less time together.  Clubs, who are paying players vast salaries, are undertandably reluctant to release their stars for national duty and so preparation for tournaments like AFCON is woefully insufficient.  BUT, this affects all the teams, especially teams like Ivory Coast, Ghana and Cameroon who are basically keeping Arsenal and Chelsea in the Premier League, and they are still playing reasonable football and don’t send passes into vacant tracts of the field every time they go forward.

Last nights diabolical effort made Bolton v Newcastle ( incidentally a 0-0 draw at the last outing) look like an extravaganza of fluidity and skill.  One massive difference I noticed between African football and its European counter part is that there doesnt seem to be the same emphasis placed on tight marking.  It isn’t unusual to see a defender looking like he is trying to make sweet love to an opposition striker as he holds the ball up in midfield and one can’t forget the classic shot of Vinnie Jones giving Gazza’s family jewels a loving squeeze during the crazy gang heyday.  Over here players have so much time on the ball that they can linger and check out the options and the need for immediate pin point passing doesnt seem so important.  The result is slow, pretty dull football.  And when the player, even with eons to pick out his team mate still loses possession, it gets a touch frustrating.

The best passage of play were the 5 extra minutes of injury time at the end of the 2nd half.  We thankfully equalised in the 87th minute and suddenly thought we could win it.  What ensued was 8 glorious minutes of end to end football that almost made the previous agonising hour and a bit seem worth sitting through.  But in the end we got a 1-1 draw which means we are still in with a chance of qualifying from the group stages.  National coach Carlos Alberto Parreira, who won the world cup with Brazil in 1994, and to whom the South African Football Association is paying millions, has got his work cut out for him.  I secretly hope that we have 11 Brazilians on ice that will be eligible for SA citizenship in early 2010 who will then form the basis of our national team when we host the World Cup. 

Its hard to think that with all these massive stadiums being built around the country and the gargantuan amount its costing us to host the Tournament, that we will really only feature in 3 group games.  Because unless by some miracle we end up in a group with the Faroe Islands, American Samoa and the Vatican, our chances of reaching the knock out stages are slim.  And this brings me back to a point I made earlier.

Having just finished reading Jake White’s book the sheer enormity of winning that World Cup is staggering.  It really was a 4 year game plan that culminated in Paris.  But, the back stabbing, political bullshit that went on behind the scenes is disgraceful.  Why did the powers that be make every effort to derail the success of that team?  What, if any, preparations are being made to drag Bafana Bafana kicking and screaming out of their current incompetence to some level of mediocrity?  Is there the same level of interference from the government?  If not I must pose a touchy question to myself.  Do I as a white South African really care? 

Is the reason I don’t expect racial quotas in our national football team down to my apathy?  Traditionally soccer in South Africa is supported by black and coloured South Africans and the demographic make up of the team reflects that.  Yes I know Neil Tovey is the only white man to lift the African Cup of Nations but really there were no white players on the field last night.  In reverse this would be unacceptable but Im not hearing any complaints.  I expect that when 2010 arrives and the world’s showpiece football event rolls into town I will dust off my Bafana Bafana shirt that I bought for the World Cup in  2002 (although the new strip is very cool in a retro kind of way) and join the growing number of whiteys following our football team. 

My only hope is that the powers that be put as much effort into sorting them out as they did in interfering with the cricket and rugby team which have enjoyed unbridled success in comparison. 

Monkey Business

Let me just categorically state that it was wrong for Harbajhan Singh to call Andrew Symonds a monkey.  No, not because this could be construed as racist but because Andrew Symonds is not a monkey, everyone knows that Andrew Symonds is in fact the Nik Nak man.

 And after all the furore down under and some horrific umpiring India have achieved what they did in 2001 and beat the Aussies when they were on 16 consecutive Test wins, this time it was in Australia’s own back yard, which for every other Test playing nation tired of Australian dominance is a sweet result.  Australia would have set a new record for consecutive Test wins had they won in Perth.  The fact that it was their own record they were trying to beat and that the nearest challenger is the Windies on 11 back in the early eighties speaks volumes about the gap between the nations in the last 2 decades of Test cricket.  But we wont worry about that now, and just enjoy the Aussie press slaughtering their own team for a while.  With one Test to go, India can level the series and wont that make me giggle in my corn flakes. 

Speaking of monumental wins (tongue inserted fimly in cheek), did you see the evergreen Polly rescue the woeful Proteas in the 2nd 20/20 match against the Windies last night? Good old Polly, we gonna miss him.   If Boucher continues to wicket keep like he did last night there might be another South African middle order stalwart following Polly to the ICL.

ABSA-lute daylight robbery

After spending 9 years bemoaning the antiquated banking system in the UK, like why does it take 5 days to clear a cheque and why cant I change my address over the phone I am writing to apologise to Barclays Bank Plc.  Because as bad as I thought they were at least they didnt fleece you for all you are worth for doing bugger all.   I swear in South Africa if you walk past an ATM and even think “oh I should probably draw money”, you will be charged.

 I seriously considered withdrawing every red cent I have and keeping it in a shoebox (although a small tupperware container would suffice) and keeping it under my bed except the withdrawal charges are exorbitant.  If you transfer money from one account to the other, if you make a payment with your debit card, if you check your balance, you will be charged and god help you if you use the wrong type of ATM because then the super charges kick in.  I exasperatedly asked for a list of charges only to be provided with a pamphlet of biblical proportions to peruse at my leisure.  Im up to page 53 and seriously concerned that in some sick way Im paying per page. 

Im told that the reason is that it costs a lot of money to move cash about due to the extreme security measures required and the insurance the banks have to pay on top of that.  Everytime the old man and I see a cash in transit vehicle outside our local centre we turn around and find a different entrance.  Just like the English army in the first Anglo Boer war with their red coats and criss-crossed white bandoliers, those trucks are a bloody target.  And theres always some jumpy looking guard with an automatic rifle and kevla body armour lurking nearby.  It makes me laugh thinking back to the UK banks cash delivery, it was always some overweight retired security guard from TESCO with a perspex helmet and visor and perhaps a baton if he was particularly hard.

Anyway, rant over.   

Sala gahle silly season!

Well 2008 is into its 3rd day and all is going well so far.  Sitting on the couch watching the Proteas batting having dismissed the Windies for 243. Much better than Test 1.  Spent the day at Sahara Park Newlands yesterday, cost me R60 for a behind the bowlers arm seat. Last time I watched test cricket was at Lords, Eng vs WI, cost me 60 pounds and no flags or cheering were allowed.  Theres a competition at the moment to win a trip to watch SA vs Eng at Lords later in the year. Cant say Im in a rush to enter it.

Never been a big fan of New Years eve, it seems the more plans and effort you make, the more of a disaster it is likely to be.  Thats why we had a very enjoyable dinner at the Waterfront and spent the first five hours of the new year beer in hand solving the problems of the world with good friends.

Was emphatically told by all and sundry that no-one is looking to employ in December so job hunting came to a grinding halt.  Just as well as there never seemed to be a quiet moment throughout the month.  As soon as one visitor left the next arrived.  Had a wonderful time catching up with friends and enjoying the pleasures of the Cape. Lots of wine farms, eating and drinking and lying on the beach.  Made the age old new year resolution of planning to get fit.  Made a very charitable donation to Virgin Active last month and suppose I had better actually go sometime soon.  When your waist measurement gets too far ahead of your inside leg measurement drastic measures are required.

Highlights of the month must be a trip to Eagles Nest wine farm with is views and terraced vines, a day in Kalk bay watching the fishhermen coming in with tonnes of Yellowtail, 2 nights on Klondyke cherry farm, playing frisbee and bat and ball on Clifton and a day trip to Gansbaai to see Great White sharks.  Was very impressed that I managed to avoid joining the queue of fellow divers hurling off the side of the boat.  Had to laugh at the skipper who thanked each seasick passenger for helping with the chumming.  Came away thinking twice about swimming in our seas anymore, saw what I thought was an absolute monster only to be told to come back in winter when the real biggies come out.  So if a shark half the size of the boat is a smallie then might give that winter trip a miss.

Seem to be surrounded by expectant mothers at the moment and the trip to the cherry farm involved me, 5 couples and 2 toddlers.  However, this parenthood club is one Im not in a hurry to join.  Poor buggers! Sleep is far too important and anything that wakes up at 5, and then goes mamamamamamamama for 12 hours is a bundle of something, joy isnt the word that comes to mind.  So to all the expectant fathers, its been nice knowing you, see you in 18 years.

Got a couple of interviews next week, so hopefully employed soon.  Other than that need to be a little more proactive with the applications but that can wait until the cricket is over.  Hope you all had a wonderful festive season and that 2008 proves to be a prosperous year.